The urge to karma

There was a time, many years ago, when I lived for considerable periods in a state of emotional exaltation wrapped up in the action which absorbed me. Those days of my youth seem far away now, not merely because of the passage of years but far more so because of the ocean of experience and painful thought that separates them from today. The old exuberance is much less now, the almost uncontrollable impulses have toned down, and passion and feeling are more in check. The burden of thought is often a hindrance, and in the mind where there was once certainty, doubt creeps in. Perhaps it is just age, or common temper of the day.
And yet even now, the call of action stirs strange depths within me, and often a brief tussle with thought. I want to experience again 'that lonely impulse of delight' which turns to risk and danger.
This urge of action(karma), this desire to experience life through action, has influenceed all my thought and activity.
Even my seemingly actionless life is tacked on somehow, by some process of thought and feeling,to coming or imagined action. Thus it gains for me a certain content without which it would be a vacuum in which existence would become intolerable.